I ended it with a bang!

It’s the 15th night of the Chinese New Year celebration of 2011, better known as Chap Goh Meh (literally translated as 15th night). Traditionally celebrated by the Cantonese as a “Valentine’s day”. I’m not sure how it’s even logically possible but culturally (correct me if I’m wrong), the single ladies will throw mandarin oranges into the lake/ sea, and whichever (lucky or unlucky) men who pick their oranges, will end up together.

I am Hokkien, so my CNY celebration had ended last Thursday on the 9th day, with Pai Tnee Kong (praying to the Heavenly Gods celebration).

While I would love to join other Chinese on this night as an experience, I was neither upset nor affected when I had to be on call at the neonatal ward. Mind you, I have no intention of throwing oranges myself. I would rather peel and eat the oranges than to throw away a perfectly tasty fruit! But little did I know, I would have a “throwing” celebration of my own in the hospital.

So if I didn’t throw oranges on the orange-tossing-night, what did I toss then?

 

 

    

 

 

    

     So I admit I’ve been planning to get rid of it. And I also admit that I’ve been planning on iPhone for awhile now. And it would seem as though I had deliberately done it to ease the “transition”.

     But let’s get some perspective here, people. Now not only do I have to fork up more money to fix it, getting an iPhone becomes more and more of a distant dream….

     Since I can’t legally do locum yet, MV suggested that I do more calls next month. I think I should set up a Help Lyn’s Foundation, open to public for contributions.

     What do you think?

Under The Sea

I can’t believe it! I actually did and went through with it!

To say I have a reason to do it, I just couldn’t point it out. To say there was a calling, I just didn’t feel it. It was more of a last minute decision, although it was on the optional itinerary. Verbally, I said I was going to do it. But I eventually realized that I was not mentally prepared.

So what is it that I did out of the blue?

SCUBA diving.

MV accompanied me to the neighbouring chalet to look for diving instructor. And we found one at Alu-alu Divers. Introduced ourselves to Mel, who became my instructor and almost immediately, we started our “lesson”.

First session was watching an introductory video, covering the basics- the breathing regulators, the suits, the complications, commonly used sign language which is universally accepted, etc.

After finishing the video I thought I was done for the day. But how wrong I was. Immediately, I was taught how to set up the buoyancy control device (BCD- the jacket the holds the oxygen tank and also helps in staying afloat, ascend and descend at will). Then, load it into a speedboat, and off we went to Turtle’s Bay.

Ok, can’t possibly be bad, I thought to myself. I should be able to handle the dive, since I am quite a fast learner.

But boy, oh boy. We weren’t going for a dive just yet. 200m from the shore, the speedboat stopped and I was told to jump off the boat and swim to the shore! I was speechless. My throat went dry. I thought it wasn’t a pre-requisite to be able to swim (but of course, I’ve already told Mel that I could). So why is she asking me to swim from such a distance away? I thought they were all joking (They meaning, Mel, Dex- the other instructor, with 3 other seasoned divers). But nope. They were dead serious. Dex even jumped off the boat first to “encourage” me.

So I followed suit. And then Mel joined me. Dex and the other divers left for another location. Leaving Mel and myself in the water, with a life jacket that Mel was hanging on to, and refused to give it to me.

It was difficult. I had my contact lens on, so I swam with my head above the water. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to close my eyes and swim properly, or asked for a pair of goggles, since I had it in the boat. I started to swim. And Mel was there all the while, continuously encouraging me to continue and float on my back if I was tired.

Throughout the whole time, I remember thinking, I’m never gonna make it… I’m too tired... I can do it... No, I can't. I’m going to drown… I want to give up… I don’t want to dive anymore… I can do it… No, I can’t make it… The next thing I know, my feet could touch the sand. Oh what a wonderful feeling it was! Finally! Feet, ground. Shore, reached!

The whole idea was to make me face any fear I had of the sea and hopefully, abolish it. And also to learn to trust Mel.

Shortly after that, the boat came back with our BCDs, which we put on, then check the equipments for each other (standard procedure), as we were considered “Buddies”. The next lesson was learning to use the regulator (the hose that connects the oxygen tank to the mouth), how to locate it if it dropped from the mouth, how to clear the mask, practicing some sign language, etc.

After that, we took the boat, pick up the other divers, and went to D’Lagoon for my first dive!

My first dive was awkward. I was swimming upright, just like a seahorse!

But whatever that I saw, was just marvelous. It was a whole new world underneath. It’s one thing watching these marine life on TV, a whole new experience altogether to see and be there in person. It was almost magical.

We dove for about 45 minutes, as deep as 15 metres.

The next day, I reached Alu-alu by 8.30am and started to assemble my BCD for my 2nd dive. This time, we shared the boat with 3 other Chinese girls and their instructor, Alex. Again, we went to D’ Lagoon, but this time to the beach first. Alex was teaching the girls what I learned yesterday, and Mel was teaching me how to snorkeling and use my fins properly so as to not dive like a seahorse anymore!

After that, we went to the deeper side of D’ Lagoon for our 2nd dive. Again, I was diving like a seahorse every now and then. But it was equally as magical.

That afternoon, I watched the 2nd video- which covers the complications of diving Eg. decompression syndrome, nitrogen narcosis, etc. I also had my multiple choice questions test after that, which I passed. ;)

On the 3rd day, was my 3rd and 4th dive to complete my license requirement. The 3rd dive was to T3, which I liked best. And the last dive was to the Shark Point Pinnacle, which of course I saw a shark, as big as the size of a speed boat, from afar. Dove for about 50 minutes each time, as deep as 18 metres.

I love my diving experience. It was a completely different world down there. I felt like a part of the underwater world. During my last dive, I swore I felt like a mermaid, only without the graceful movements. I was still in awe, and somewhat surreal. I couldn’t help but thinking, what an interesting life my dad was living when he was active in diving previously.

I’m definitely diving again. I finally understood,

“One thing we cannot escape- forever afterward, throughout all our life, the memory of the magic of water and its life, of the home which was once our own- this will never leave us.” – William Beebe.

And it never will.

With Mel, on a kayak!

1st Solo Shoot

So I had the weekend off. Parents couldn’t find time to visit me. Mom told me to stay put and rest. MV, unfortunately, is on-call.

What more can I ask for? A day of total relaxation.

Woke up late today, at 9am to the beautiful sun shining into my bedroom. What a rare sight! If you think 9am is early for Sunday, I would agree with you. No thanks to the years of medical school, sabotaging my sleep-wake cycle.

Had a long breakfast at Transfer Road, which is famous for the Roti Canai and Teh Tarik.

Then off I went for my first shooting with my baby.

A new man in my life

This is an official declaration of my new love.

A love so strong it knows no boundaries. A love so true it can never be divided.

The new love of my life.

Name: Ben

Date of birth ( i.e. purchase ): 14 Aug 2010

Place of birth ( Again, i.e. purchase ): Photo Easycam, KOMTAR

May we create beautiful and everlasting memories together! ;)

A Gift for U & Me

We're waiting for our flight to Singapore by Tiger Airways in Penang International Airport.

For some reasons, everything feels comfortable and familiar to me, as though I've been there many times. But the truth is, I've only flew from Pg twice, back in those days when I was studying in India. Perhaps, the feeling came from all the travelling around Europe. Or perhaps, I'm older ( and wiser, I hope ) now, so it takes more to surprise me and push me off my comfort zone. Or even perhaps I'm just not bothered anymore.

The one thing that's different now would probably be that we are more "seasoned" travellers, who are earning our own income and wanting to splurge on materialistic squander than we should at the moment.

Reflecting back on my life, I would say that I did ok. Of course I have my downs and of course, I would not be where/who I am today if it wasn't for the many, many people in my life. In spite of all that, I wouldn't do anything differently had I given the chance to turn back time.

A cousin asked me recently what would I regret most for not having done, if I were to leave this world tomorrow. My answer was simply, nothing. I was THAT contented with my life.

I am just grateful to live in the present.

I am where I am today because of my family.

I am who I am today because of my upbringing, the people I've met, and the good and bad experiences in my life.

I am ME. I am simply Lyn.

Memory Lane

This morning had me reminiscent over all the things I was once so familiar with. So much a part of my "previous" life- my childhood and my schooling days. It felt like as though I have a different "life" now.

It started off with an appointment to go Lake Garden for a morning walk, in an attempt to encourage my 10 years old cousin brother, WS to exercise. If it were up to me, I would not restrict his dietary intake as he is still growing, but I would strongly and persistently encourage him to exercise, which was why I "invited" him for a morning walk with both his parents.

7am sharp. The only person in the car to come and pick me up was my uncle! The rest? Still in La La Land.

Since Couz WS "couldn't" make it this morning, we went hiking up Maxwell Hill, instead. The reason being, the last time Couz WS went hiking during Chinese New Year '07, they had to push him up from behind! Imagine how tiring it was to climb and carry a 50kg dumb bell!

Anyway, Seh Han Chek (youngest uncle) and myself hike up Maxwell hill, through the jungle trek, up to the 3rd shed.

It wasn't that we used to go hiking, but what had me reminicent was those days when I followed him to our family orchard. That was back in my primary school years. I would be the only one following. I'm not sure about my sister, but I remembered whenever they( the relatives) talked about the orchard, they would bring up about how Ko had to carry an umbrella whenever he went, which wasn't often! They stopped talking about it for quite some time now. Maybe I should bring it up next CNY, when Ko's around. Hmm... *Evil smile*

Anyway, after our 55 minutes hike up, and then about 40 minutes down the same way. SHC dropped me back home, as I have another errand to run- delivery person.

But that's not the triggering factor. The trigger was the place. I had to help Couz WJ to return her textbooks to her school, which was my old alma mater.

After returning the books, I walked around for a while. There were alot of changes physically, but the feelings was the same. Oh, how we used to spend so much time there, before and after school just to discuss/plan for some events.

It had been 7 years since I last stepped into my school. After 2 years of A-Levels and 5 years of medical school, only now am I going back! I made a vow when I left, to only to go back when I become a "somebody". Not that I'm some bigshot now, but at least I've achieved what I aimed to do.

Above: The miniature field in the middle of the compound. When I was 14 years old, my classroom (2T1) used to be on the right, lower ground. At 15, my classroom (3K1) was the last class on the left, 1st floor.

Above: Check out the toilet! When I was there, it wasn't tiled, there was only one sink at the end, and most obviously, it wasn't walled up with a sliding door! There was just a waist-high wall during my time, obviously providing better ventilation. ;)

Above: A new pond. It used to be just grass. That was where we took our clubs photos and high achievement awards for SPM (O'Levels equivalent) group photo.

Maybe I should go back and have a noodle soup at the canteen when school reopens? Anybody care to join me?

To be or not to be... (Part 2 of 2)

Four days later, as we proceed on to the 2nd part of my practical exams, which is known as short cases- 3 different departments other than that of the long case (Part 1 of 2), 10 minutes for each station comprising of examinations, probable diagnosis and discussion about the case.

The worse things about short cases for me (and probably for many others, as well) were the fact that it was so short a duration, one station after another, not to mention having to switch on and off for each station, which were all completely different system of examination. and to top it all, bringing 3 (in my case, 4) specialist examiners of all different departments.

Luckily this time, I was in the 3rd slot, meaning roughly after 1 hours and 15 minutes (i.e. 2 sessions of 30+/- minutes), i was called in.

With me, were a physician, surgeon, paediatrician and an obstetrician as examiners- 2 internal examiners ( i.e. own college lecturers) and 2 external examiners (i.e. invited doctors from government uni/hosp) for "quality control" because results must be agreed upon by all the examiners. The arrangement may not be the same for everybody as it was randomized but there must be both internal and external examiners.

Short case examination in many ways is all about the showmanship. Just do all the things you were taught to do, even if you know you won't find anything. Staying cool and calm is equally as important.

In that sense, since my Manipal days, I've always been grateful for the years of going through piano practical examination, back in primary and secondary school, when I had to perform in front of English ang moh examiners, whom I've never met before in my entire life and would probably never meet again. I feel that because of such exposure since my young age, I don't really get nervous "performing" in front of examiners. It's the waiting for my turn that bothers me still... And of course, the anxiety of not knowing enough to answer the questions.

Anyway, my first station was examination of the abdomen- a surgical case of an enlarged liver. Next station was lead by a paediatrician to a small boy with both legs deformity and walking tip-toeing. Lastly, was to a pregnant lady whose baby was too small for its age.

The last station was probably the funniest when I relate to everybody. I had always had problems understanding this internal examiner's speech. He tends to mumble, speaks very fast, and has a very strong indian accent, which until today, I do not always comprehend what he says. More often than not, I catch the keywords and guess my way as to what he is asking. But of all the days, that method just had to fail this time. It was so bad that up to a point, I had no choice but to say, "I'm very sorry, Sir. But I don't understand what you are saying." And that was when the other examiners tried to explain to me, in their own words, what the question was!! Lol....

That 30 minutes came and went like a blink of an eye. The next thing I know, I was being quarantined with those who had went through the exam and we were all busy relating our cases and what took place during the examination.

The fact that the last station was when the "miscommunication" took place, I felt really, really bad after that. I knew my examination technique was fine and I was able to pick up findings but the discussion that ensued made me really nervous that I might be called for reassessment.

Unlike after the long case, even though my exams was finally over, I felt worse than ever.

The next night, about 7.30pm, the reassessment list was put up. My name was not there. What a relieve!

BUT, not having my name up there, could also mean that it was a straight fail i.e. below 45%, in which case, I would not be eligible for reassessment at all. After convincing myself that I could not possibly had done so poorly, just because I couldn't answer a few questions, or answered a few questions wrongly (due to poor communication), I started packing up my books.

Either way, there's no turning back. I've decided that I want to be....

To be or not to be... (Part 1 of 2)

As you might have seen previously, the countdown at the bottom of the page had been over for about 2 months now (and I've finally taken it down). My final struggle started in August and had ended today, but the battle continues. Simply because the results will not be out until Friday.

Thinking back, the last 2 months actually passed quite fast. But it wasn't until towards the end, that the torture really took the upper hand. I mean I'm talking about 5 years of education boiled down to this final exam, and laying down the stepping stone for the rest of my professional career. It was so much of psychological turmoil, that at times I find myself.... completely spaced out- very much in my own world, at my own time.

And then the time finally came to show them what I've learned for the last 5 years of my life and how competent I am. I'm skipping the theory papers all together, because they were stupid. I'm jumping straight into the practicals.

First day of practical- 1 Oct 2009.

Going for practical exam run by my college means getting afflicted with hours of waiting for my turn. If being quarantined in a room with other just-as-restless students was bad, not knowing when is my turn, only served to make it worse! I waited from 8am until 1.20pm before I was finally being called. Then I was given an hour to clerk the patient's history and examine him, diagnose his problem(s), decide what investigations I would like to do and plan the course of treatment.

My patient was a very friendly 58 years old uncle, who was very much trying to help me. But in his enthusiasm, he wasn't answering my questions and had elaborated the whole story about it. Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy talking to such patients. In fact, I believe I would enjoy looking after him in the wards. But not during exam, when I only get 1 hour for everything!

To top it all, he had a special combo of diseases- diabetes, hypertension, stroke, and end stage renal failure on dialysis. And because they were all very common diseases, there's a wide ground to cover, not only in the history but in the examination as well. They are basically "high- expectation" diseases all seen in this patient. I'm only speaking in terms of final exam, I'm not even going to go into what the patient has to go through everyday because of his illnesses.

When I realized by the end of the first 5 minutes how tough this case was, I took a deep breathe, calmed myself down, smiled to the uncle and persevered.

Towards the last 10 minutes, when I was writing down and organizing my thoughts, uncle was still chatting away something about when he was in the army. I really couldn't response much anymore, other than occasional, "Oh ya ke?". When he learned where my hometown was, he got all excited because he was trained there for years. And that was also when he mentioned that the previous student who examined him was from Klang. Now that caught my attention and I stopped writing. The only person from Klang, taking exam on the same day, whom I know of was none other than M!

After the presentation and the drilling from examiners, I found out that M had the same panel of examiners as well! What a coincidence!

That was the 1st day of the 2 days of practical exam.

I actually felt a burden being lifted off from my shoulders. The exhilaration of finally getting it over with is actually difficult to describe. There was also a sense of satisfaction, that I had performed considerably well.

I had a peaceful sleep that night.

IXth Surgical Workshop 18/3/09

I’ve always wondered how it would feel like to cut people up (to cure them, mind you!) Imagine this: you can feel the palpitation of your heart, there’s a constant discharge of adrenaline in your body, you are holding a scalpel in your nervous and steady hand, there’s a live person lying in front of you, anaesthetized and paralyzed, and had entrusted his life to you. YOU are GOD!

Of course that’s a very crude way of putting things. There’s no way the real situation is half of what I’ve just described. I’ve probably just painted a snippet of next episode of Grey’s Anatomy!

What I’m trying to say is, I have great respect for the people who work day in and day out, with such burden resting on their shoulders. All the more, if they love what they do and teach their subordinate well!

I had a brief but nonetheless, pleasant experience in the recent week- my first ever surgical workshop organized by Melaka General Hospital, in collaboration with B. Braun Aesculap (leading company supplying sutures and other related materials to government hospital in M’sia and other parts of the world).

It was a 2 days event at the hospital auditorium, and had allocated only 5 seats for students. We attended only the first day because the second day was intended for PG doctors. We could have attended, but it wouldn't have been useful for us anytime soon. (To be completely honest, I was more than interested to attend the 2nd day as well, as it was related to the surgeries I saw during my electives in SGH. So I wouldn't be completely lost. Had it not been because of college politics, I would have attended myself!)

Activities included:

1. Proper technique of gowning and gloving to maintain utmost sterility.
2. Different types of knot tying and their importance and uses.
3. Types of suture and needle.
4. Surgical instruments
5. Last but not least, hands on skin suturing.

with Zaf

the “patient” board

My work of art!

Are you ready for ME to cut YOU up?

Look at ME!

Like you can't get enough of me, this label is dedicated for even more of ME!

And to commemorate this label, this will be the theme song.