When people say that grass is greener on the other side. I just couldn’t agree with them more. When you finally get what you’ve wanted, it’s almost always doesn’t turn out the way you’ve expected/ hoped it to be.
I for one is living with that for a fact, day in and day out.
How is your life so? you asked. Didn’t you just gave the whole I’m-happy-to-live-in-the-present speech? you asked further.
Well, I’m happy to be alive but it’s far from a perfect life. I wake up every morning (and I mean EVERY morning), going to a work that was not what I enrolled for.
At the present, I have strong bonding with only one aspect of my work. I can’t live without it. I can’t work without it. I must have it with me by my side for me to survive the day.
What else could it be? It’s none other than my black pen.
As student, I had the opportunity to just sit by my patients’ bedside and talk to them (or at least, listen to them talk). The older generation will share their life experiences and offer food for thoughts, which can span from the importance of being filial, to their conspiracy theories on politics! With no big responsibilities, or immediate dateline, this was all possible in the past.
At present, it seems like a luxury to me. The turnover of patients in this particular department is so fast, I hardly have the chance to get to know all their problems well, let alone have time to build rapport with them.
I am in no way implying that my treatment is lacking physically. But the only thing lacking is that psychological confidence and comfort, that I am not able to build on, which in my opinion is very important in the healing process.
Maybe I should take up something that allows me to do just that, like geriatrics or oncology. But these are very “heavy” specialty, in my opinion.
But there’s no rush in it. I’m still building my character and style as a doctor. In time, I’m sure I would know what I want to specialize in. Whatever the decision may be, hopefully when I reach “the other side”, the grass is still green.
3 comments:
I recently have a few comments of this entry in chinese. I became excited when me bro translated for me, and I realised that they were real comments, and not some advertisement.
So to all my dear chinese illiterate (including myself), translation is included.
3 Apr: Although I say going to work everyday is tiring, but I still have to work hard to cope with it everyday. Reading articles to relax. Thank you!
14 Apr: Stay focus on what you do, you'll get it done quickly.
Thread on solid ground every step of your way, your future will be bright.
Thank you for your comments and encouragement. I just hope my brother's translation did you justice and conveyed your message across.
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